Thursday, February 14, 2013

REFLECTIONS .... VALENTINE'S LOST .....

HAPPY Hearts and Flowers day everyone!

Well, it's another February 14th and Chicago is ablaze withe ruby red HEARTS and blood red ROSES EVERYWHERE. As you read this post, men ALL OVER THE COUNTRY are rushing through their local, Walmarts. Walgreens, Targets, Hallmarks, and Florists. (Funny, where are the ladies?) Millions of dollars are being spent. And ALL for this one day. A day to celebrate love. How Sweet.

Many of you, of course, are married and have families, but never-the-less, you will most likely do something special for you significant other. Lovely. But do you ever wonder about a former Valentine? Lurking, in the back of your minds, even for a split second, haven't you thought about THE ONE? Perhaps it was your first love. The one your heart still beats a bit faster for when you think of them. I know I do.

Not too many of us are still with our first loves. You wonder .... where are they now? Have they married? Do they have children? How nice would it be to see them again? Or, "I wish I had them in my clutches now to STRANGLE THEM FOR ..." LOL. Either way, your heart races.

I have even gone as far as Googling them or searching Facebook... FUNNY, I have had no luck. My two fiance's sort of disappeared off the face of the earth or they've changed their names to their husbands. Sad really. I didn't have the best closure with either of them. Well, the circumstances at the time were pretty explosive. WAY too much drama... LOL. And most of you know that I always like to focus on the positive. Let's just say, I hope they are happy. Life is full of choices and forks in the road.

So, what about you? Have you wondered about your LOST VALENTINE? Are they still in your life? Or, did they melt away with the Spring thaw. This topic makes for a very intriguing subject for writing, doesn't it? How interesting would it be to incorporate an LV into our stories. Something to think about. I know we all draw from our personal experience when we write, but this could be a wonderful situation for your MC. What's most, it doesn't have to be the gushy type of love. It could be raw, brutal, or gut wrenching... So why not dive into an emotional Valentine's seen in your WIP.

Please let me know in the comments about yours .... Have a very special day for all you sweethearts out there .... And if you are single at the moment, the love of our friends, family, and PETS, does comfort our souls until that special person does come along.

34 comments:

  1. I agree, Michael, and think closure in relationships....especially if they went to the 'engaged' status...is important.

    I, sometimes, think about some of my exes and then I remember just -why- they are my "exes" :D

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  2. My wife was my first really serious relationship, so I don't remember the others very well. Not even their names.
    Maybe you'll find those two someday.
    I'll get a single rose for my wife, but otherwise, every day is Valentine's Day for her.

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  3. Valentine's day was always my favorite holiday, until I got married. There's none of that excitement,that wondering if you have someone wishing, hoping to get you. When you're married you're got. Not that that's a bad thing, just different.

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  4. Valentine's Day is not Charlie Brown's or mine favorite holiday. My fiancee, Kathrynn, died during brain surgery but my love for her did not.

    This day is often cruel to so many. I hope this new year brings new happiness to you. Always your friend, Roland

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  5. Personally, I married my first love so I am a VERY lucky girl! There was a cross road in our relationship where I had to make the choice- marry or move on. I imagined him becoming a memory and knew that would never do. He always asks if I regret leaving college to get married and the truth is no. I can re-do a career, I can't re-do a perfect match.

    But, I also think that if you were able to move past a love...then it wasn't the right one. She's still waiting for you to find her. And with your sweet nature and made baking skills, it's just a matter of time!

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  6. Knowing what the ex is up to ... isn't that what Facebook is for? (God help us.)

    I consider days like this and Thanksgiving to be good things for one reason: Life is very busy, and if it takes a giant holiday to make you slow down enough to show your love or appreciation, so be it.

    Sadly, I know couples who build their annual date night around Valentine's. But if that's what it takes, that's what it takes I suppose.

    Personally, I'll never let a Valentine's go by without giving my wife flowers and a sweet card, even though she doesn't really think it's a big deal. My mother taught me to never miss an opportunity to show love to the people most important to you, because a lifetime won't offer you enough chances when it's all said and done.

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  7. I'm still with my high school sweetheart. He's not a big fan of what he calls the #1 Hallmark Holiday, but he shows me and the girls his love every day. What more could we want, right? I always buy the girls big heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. We have more fun cracking open each of them, pushing aside the jelly-filled ones and savoring the ooey-gooies. :))

    I hope you have a marvelous day!

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  8. Oh, you know I'm a huge fan of Sliding Doors, BB, so I always like exploring the idea of "What if..." What would my life look like now if I were still with that person?

    I'm still great friends with all three of my former significant others, and we're friends on FB. So we keep up. It's fun to imagine how my life would be different if we'd stayed together, but I wouldn't trade my lovely JRM for anything~ :o) <3

    Happy V'day to you! :o) <3

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  9. I did marry my first love so I don't have any lost valentines. My MC does, though. The story starts with her old love showing up, which threatens the peace of her husband and family.

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  10. I have, of course. Though for the most part, I've lived without regret in the love department. For the most part. ;)

    Happy Valentine's Day!

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  11. My first love was a very unhealthy relationship. We're friends on Facebook but haven't really talked. I just saw him post yesterday as a matter of fact. It's okay with me to leave it as it is.

    Happy Valentine's Day!

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  12. The boyfriend and I had a (early) low key Valentine's Day. Just some dinner and a little Walking Dead :D

    He's a good one though. I am very very lucky.

    I hope you're having a great day!!

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  13. I'm sorry you can't locate those two girls.

    Funny, I really haven't tried to track down any old boyfriends. And the two that were the most serious before I met my husband I wouldn't want to hear from, ever.

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  14. Funny, I married (eloped) on Valentine's Day, and can't - honestly remember a Valentine's Day before that.

    I guess no other man was as romantic as my hubby is. As for other the ex's, don't even want to go there.

    HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

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  15. I still miss my ex. I hope he's happy.

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  16. 'Most people aren't still with their first love...' well, my hand is up! I am! I met my husband when I was 16, married him at 19 (he was 4 years older), and we are still blissfully happy. So my darling Valentine took me out to a lovely French restaurant last night and we sipped on Kir Royales. Sick yet?

    I think those 2 fiances are best left in your past, Michael. Who knows what romance is lurking just around the corner?

    Denise

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  17. I met a couple of my old high school sweethearts years after graduation; one was happily married and expecting his 3rd child. He'd moved out of state, got a good job, and was home visiting for a couple weeks. His wife was just lovely, his kids adorable. She let us have time to reminisce and wasn't threatened. It made the memories that much sweeter.

    The other was also visiting from out of state; marriage gone bad, career stalled. He wasn't handling being single too well, and even asked me to run away with him. LOL, I was married, again. I hope he wasn't serious.

    Sad that sometimes people do get left behind, but its so nice when there are no hard feelings. I'm still friends with all three of my husbands - still dating the last one.

    Go to U-Tube and look for Garth Brooks, Unanswered Prayers. Maybe that will make you feel better about those two lost fiance's :)

    .......dhole

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  18. I do wonder sometimes, but on the whole, it doesn't bother me that much. Guess it was because I haven't met my my great love yet. :-)

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  19. I have a habit of not looking back (that can be good or bad!) so I don't wonder. Forge ahead!

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  20. Nope, no hearts or special day for love on this side of the world brother dear. I have a very special lost valentine in mind though and you know all about him and what happened when I found him...Yes I am talking about my first born son's father :) lol, you know...the one with the motorcycle :) Have a great week-end!

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  21. Oh golly, I wrote a whole book set in my college days just so I could work in snippets of those fellas who I replay most fondly in my memories. *sigh*

    So excited about next week!

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  22. I know you are a brilliant youth writer, Michael, but MAN, I think you have so much soul and gut wrenching passion you could seriously write some amazing adult books!!! Just reading this post gets me all heart twisted and there's so much story potential in this one post alone!

    You know what I bet? I bet your two lost Valentines are looking YOU up online. They probably read your every blog and regret not still being with you--so there! :) And you have so much to show--look at all the amazing things you're doing. You know it's *their* hearts that are racing when they are nostalgic and their hubbys probably don't look half as good as you, LOL!

    I'm also blessed in that my hubby and I met when we were young. We were 15 when we met and it's been a wonderful ride since. I wouldn't change my story for anything--I know how lucky I am.

    And Roland's comment is killing me. Gosh, that guy has had some serious trials. WOW.

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  23. What an intriguing topic! I love it. And lucky for me, I have a Valentine scene coming up in my WIP. Saweet!

    Yes, I think about that first love, but the love I have with my hubby is completely different...and better :)

    I love that whole raw, brutal, gut wrenching comment. I'll have to make mine like that.

    Thanks!

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  24. I used a lost valentine in one of my stories. It tended toward the gut-wrenching side of things, I have to say.

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  25. What a good post, Michael. I married my high school sweetheart. He tells me every day is Valentine's Day for me, and it's true. In my books, my heroine often has troubles relating to a past love. So maybe she can look for her lost love!

    Monti
    Mary Montague Sikes

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  26. Me and my husband don't really celebrate Valentines day because we really do our best to show each other how we feel every day. He's a great guy so I always feel like his Valentines.

    And he was my first love. I've pretty much been with him since I was like fifteen which means by next year I will have officially spent 3/4 of my life with him. Seems kinda crazy!haha

    You're right though. Lost loves makes an awesome topic for a book!! One of these days I'll have to try that. :)

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  27. Oh no! Googling your ex partners is not a good thing to do. The Internet has been responsible for too many broken hearts that way. Best that we leave well alone, think about our past with those rose-tinted specs on and be happy with what we've got.
    Rosalind Adam is Writing in the Rain

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  28. I have not...they can rot in...just kidding...I wish them the best!

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  29. My wife is my valentine, and we make it special for each other each year. Of course, there are those gut-wrenching memories from the past -- they make us the writers we are, right?

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  30. I do't wonder about past Valentines because well, the day has always sucked for me and my love has been very unfulfilling. I can't think of a single person I've dated who still makes my heart beat faster.

    I had such a WONDERFUL time yesterday! Spending time with you was just exactly what I needed. Thank you!!

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  31. Sweet post. I am happy in my relationship and know my current love (of 10 years) is my soulmate, but I do sometimes wonder how some of my young loves have fared. I found one recently on FB, but since I don't have an account, I tried to contact him through a friend's account and it didn't go well. I've realized that it's best for those things to stay in the past.

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  32. My husband is the only Valentine I clearly remember so I guess there are no lost Valentines anywhere. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't lost anything :)

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  33. I did look up my first serious relationship guy. I'd broken his heart and always felt terrible about it. I'm happy to say that he is married with kids and looks happy. That's all I ever wanted for him, so all is good.

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  34. Facebook is a double-edged sword. I use my maiden name on FaceBook just in case people from the distant past want to find me. I have a handfull of friends that I have kept in touch with over a very long time. (I've mentioned some of them in an e-mail to you.)
    But Valentines? I know that the boy I went steady with in high school is married. I called him on the phone! It was fun hearing his voice. We wrote letters and cards for a time.

    But then it stopped, after he wrote that he was diagnosed with diabetes type II. He may not have the energy for anything extra. And I am always busy with the children.

    Did you write anything for the RFW-fan-fiction-challenge? Please read my story! If you know any Italian you can correct my text. One of my characters is from Italy!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    ox

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