Saturday, September 8, 2012

IS MURDER ON HER LIPS? ...


HI, All,

Welcome to another installment from the Romantic Friday Writers. Yes, I know I am a bit late posting, but I did start to write this last night. LOL.

For today's challenge ... I Should Have Kissed You! Word count - 500

I hope you enjoy my entry. Don't forget to drop by the other RFW writers for their interpretations. You can find them here.

Have a great weekend everyone!

A darkened room lit by only one generic fixture illuminates a single smoke ring mingling with the hot, steamy, air.

Sweat trickles from his forehead, down his cheek, and lingers at the base of his neck, glistening next to an open crisp, white collar. His adam’s apple bobs as he attempts to swallow what little saliva coats his throat.

Ruby-red lips part and another smoke ring joins the former, disappearing into the haziness of the room. A milky-white hand with matching manicured nails flicks the ash from the end of a jeweled cigarette holder. A large brimmed hat shadows most of her face as she silently takes another drag.

Papers shuffle. A callused hand picks up a day-old cup of coffee. He drains the cup, licks his stubbled lips, and clears his throat. Under heavy brows his eyes dart from her long crossed legs toward her curved hips, full breast, and finally lock on her full, glossy mouth.

Standing, he steps over to the door to catch a non existent breeze. The once starched shirt clings to every muscle defining a broad chest, and powerful arms and shoulders. A weathered black leather belt cinches the soaked fabric around a narrow waist. His hand runs through thick dark hair as he clears his throat again and faces her.

“I’m waiting, Miss Donavan,” he says in a husky voice. “Where were you tonight between the hours of eight and midnight?”

She tilts her head. Moist lips shine from the harsh light, but remain silent. The wall clocks ticks and with each passing increases in volume. Yet, the silence of the room is deafening. 

“We found Charles Sinclair dead in his office. Murdered.” He took two steps toward her. “A letter-opener through his heart.” He leans against the desk and crosses his arms. “You are, or should I say, were his secretary and the only person in contact with him today.” He looks down at her.

In an effortless movement, she opens her purse and takes out a silver case, not once making eye contact with him. She taps a thin butt into the holder, draws the cigarette to her, and ignites the lighter. A puff of smoke escapes, veiling her from his intense stare. 

A heavy hand slices through the cloudy air. “Miss Donavan. Your silence only adds to your guilt.” Beads of sweat shimmer on his brow as he takes another step toward her. The lines in his face soften. “I’d like to hear your side of the story ... please.” 

The shadows shift. A soft scent of lavender, tobacco, and sweat permeate the musty air.

Crouching down before her, drawing ever so close, he focuses on her perfect rose-petal lips. 

Her chest rises, straining the mother-of-pearl buttons of the skin-tight linen suit. A pink tongue glides across the soft curves of her plump lips. 

His eyes widen. 

Emerald eyes lock on his.

He moves in closer and her lips part.

“I murdered Charles Sinclair.”

40 comments:

  1. very nice! I completely saw this scene.

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  2. Probably a good thing he didn't kiss her though...

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  3. *dies*

    ...


    *picks myself up, and dies again*

    MICHAEL, holy crap, man. That was sweltering! What on earth are you doing writing YA when you can write this steamy stuff???

    I *really* like your writing. This is the kind of writing I enjoy the most, actually. Where the details reach out, grab you, and pull you into the story. I love it when I can see/hear/smell/feel everything. Nicely done!

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  4. Great scene, superb writing, especially if you just penned this!

    Just a few suggestions, :)
    “what little saliva coating” coats?
    “licks his stubbled lips” – don’t see hair stubble on a man’s lips…but that might just be me and I’ve misunderstood.
    “drawing ever so closer” – close?

    Thank you for sharing, I shall learn from your wonderful descriptive tome. Just beautiful!

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  5. Hi,

    Very clever build up of tension (underlying sexual heat)and, he's in trouble... ;)

    Good use of all the senses, too.

    best
    F

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  6. You've been tagged for an award on my blog....

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  7. Dear Michael,
    I agree with Francine's comment: what a build-up! And a very good use of the senses! I see it all, hear it, smell it, feel it! You really know how to put us there! And what a quirky ending!

    Maybe this falls outside of the realm of 'Romantic' writing, but your description is dripping with sexual tension and anticipation. I almost hear a clock ticking through this text!

    I'm so glad that you took the time to write and post such an unusual story. Your participation is much appreciated!

    Best wishes,
    Anna
    RFW - I should have kissed you

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  8. Film noir for sure! I could see all this from the opening words. It made me totally think of some old Burt Lancaster or Humphrey Bogart flick. Very intense. I wanted more! :)

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  9. Hi Michael
    Your text is as steamy as the scene you described. What a twist as well, I was expecting them to be old friends, but you gave us a murderous and a detective. Extremely well written.
    Nancy

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  10. Michael, this is awesome writing! The tension builds up to an equally unexpected ending. Truly amazing!

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  11. yeah; my lips are quivering at the anticipation. My tongue is lonely . .

    Awesome plot and character building. I liked her in the shadows, with the hat and cigarette defining her. Great details.

    Thanks for writing this for RFW Michael.

    ......dhole

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  12. Hi Michael, you had us all there, channeling film noir scenes. She's a Bacall, he's a Bogart type of thing. Love it. As someone said, why aren't you writing more of this? You do great. I totally was in the scene and loved it so much.

    Your writing is a wonderful addition to RFW Michael. I hope your commitments allow you to stick with us and improve our romantic writing together.

    Denise

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  13. Deadly! You got me hooked from the title itself...a very unique take on the prompt..exceptionally good read

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  14. Your descriptions were perfect! Quite an interesting twist on the prompt, but it's a good thing he didn't kiss her

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  15. I can really feel the mood and the room in this piece. Good job, Michael.

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  16. Lots of great description here with the deafening silence of the room, the suspense of waiting for the reply...

    The line: “I’m waiting, Miss Donavan,” he says in a husky voice. “Where were you tonight between the hours of eight and midnight? is a powerful one.

    BTW pedal or petal?

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  17. Great job Bro, I could feel the atmoshere all the way over here.

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  18. Your descriptions take us right into the scene from the smells and sights and closeness of the room. I enjoyed this very much.

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  19. In my mind, there's only one word to describe this piece...atmospheric. I was picturing the scene in film noir because of the descriptions.

    Very well done.

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  20. Michael, I think you should really write erotica--use a pseudonym. But if you enjoy writing it, do, because you're really good at it!

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  21. I'm totally picturing Bogart in this. Wow, nicely done. From the mother-of-pearl buttons to her rose-petal lips, I could feel the tension between them. Great job!

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  22. Ooh mama! Nice and hot and steamy. Just read a blog post about hot chocolate fudge brownie, and I think my perfect afternoon would be the brownie in one hand and this novel in the other!
    Excellent voice, suspense, sexual tension and twist. Love the noir :)

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  23. Michael, You never fail to mesmerize me with your sensory imagery. You're a master of it!

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  24. You are a master indeed! You had me sitting on the edge of my seat from beginning to end! Maybe it's because I am an absolute sucker for murder mysteries but then again, no one can deny that it takes a special mind to write something so mesmerizing and so thrilling! MICHAEL!!! I want to scream! This was really that good!!! Thank you for sharing!

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  25. Sensual in a dark, brooding way...the descriptions added depth to the characters without the need from much physical description. You should try your hand at new adult novels at the very least. If this fabulous piece is an impromptu one, hats off..

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  26. Best no to kiss
    And avoid such bliss
    For with a simple act
    She could use her femine tact
    And also murder him
    Just on a whim

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  27. This reminded me of old Hollywood films, Classics, I mean. Superb narration.

    You set the scene very well. You should try writing scripts :D

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  28. This was a great Noir scene, drawing the reader right into the moment, tantalizing with suspense. Excellent. Roland

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  29. WOW! Now that's an interruption to a kiss!

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  30. Oh, this is excellent noir writing as well. I love it.

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  31. Nicely done. This reminds me of a classical, murder mystery movie.

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  32. Awesome ending! Love the old-film feel to this scene.

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  33. (fans self) That was great! I loved the ending. :)

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  35. Great story line. It definitely leaves me wanting to know more about the story!

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  36. KABOOM! Whoo hooo - that was shudderingly good. I like these changes in you, I really do :)
    Laura x

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