I hope you are all well and happy. Summer is upon us. YAY, blue skies sunshine and warm breezes. After a FULL month of daily rain, we finally dried out and for the past week or so the weather has been simply beautiful.
Today is another segment of the IWSG. Thanks to Alex, we all get to have a monthly rant about the industry we all love and hate.
Sorry I missed last month's IWSG post. I was too bummed and depressed to deal with anything...life can be so overwhelming at times.
I know each and everyone of us has had their share of rejections, but this particular one hit me hard.
Which brings me to this month's question.... Did you ever say, I quit?
In mid April I had won a twitter pitch hosted by the KNIGHT AGENCY. The agent loved my pitch and requested a query and the first three chapters. For A MONTH I held my breath waiting....waiting....waiting.
It was an extremely stressful time for me. One of my dearest friends, Melissa Bradley, had been admitted to hospice. I was heartbroken. We spoke several times and she seemed happy and at peace. She refused to give up.
Still in Florida, I had planned to visit Melissa the moment I returned back to Chicago the first week of May. I was too late. She passed away on April 30th and I was floored. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. WE had planned to collaborate on a new story once I returned. We were both so excited about the prospect.
She was so thrilled that I had won the pitch. She couldn't wait for me to tell her I landed my first agent. Two weeks after she left I received the REJECTION letter.
Although not a form letter, it shook me to the core. NOT AGAIN! I shopped this story for over four years and it had multiple requests for full by many top agents. But, once again, I was REJECTED.
I fell into a deep depression. First because of the loss of a very dear and amazing friend. And then this... How does one bounce back from such a shock to their heart?
I was/am ready to quit. I haven't written anything new in years except for the editing and blurb writing I do for our community. I have absolutely no desire to write for myself.
I hope to one day, but as of now writing eludes me. I can't focus on anything but my work for clients, taking care of my precocious pup, and trying to find a new place to live... ONCE AGAIN. That is another story....
Now for the second part of this month's question...For those of you who have quit... what brought you back? I would REALLY like to know. I hope to find some answers as I pop around to your blogs later today and tomorrow.
I certainly know what Melissa would say to me.... "Get a grip! Suck it up and just _ing do it..." I'm smiling as I see her saying it to me.
ANYWAY.... enough of this GLOOM and DOOM..... It's a gorgeous day in Chicago and I have a busy afternoon looking at another five condos....This will make 100 in the past month. A new record for me and my realtor! At least I'll be breaking a record today! LOL.
I hope all of you are doing GREAT!!!! I miss you terribly and hope to be myself soon. It's time....
HUGS....
55 comments:
No worries about last month. We knew why you were absent. Melissa was a dear friend.
My fans won't let me quit. I'm slow to get ideas but one always seems to hit and after months of mulling it around and working on the outline, I just start writing. And usually can't stop until it's done.
Warm greetings and best wishes.
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time, but not at all surprised considering how close you and Melissa were. I'm so sorry she passed away before you were able to get back to Chicago. And to have that rejection letter come at the same time was simply cruel. What a blow.
I was ready to quit last year and honestly thought I had, except for my children's book, but now I am feeling inspired again. I can't say what made me feel that way but I hope you will feel the same after some time away from all of it. You're such a talented writer.
You've been through such a rough time. Hugs to you, my friend.
You're struggling emotionally and sometimes it's hard to write when we're that mired. That's also what made that rejection really hurt. Focus on the here and now and get back to it later. Don't give up. There's a home for your story. I know one place you can submit to.
Michael, I'm so sorry that you've been in a slump. But I understand why...
You have such a beautiful way with words that I CAN'T imagine you ever quitting!!
Sending you loads of (((UBUNTU HUGS)))
Sending love and cheese. There are definitely seasons when the heart just needs to recover. I've had times where the only writing I did was journaling for myself, and that was all I needed. It got me through the period, and then the heart breathed again. Here's to pressing through the hard times so we can find the light of better days!
It's very difficult to take hit after hit after hit, and you have had many--not just in writing. It's exhausting. (I speak from experience here.) For me, I did the editing too. Then none fiction and fiddle with my website look, now I'm coming around and the creative side is coming back. Hang in there.
You are mourning... and that's okay. Allow yourself to take whatever time you need. I've gone years without writing, not because I quit, but because I didn't feel like writing. And that was okay too. Perhaps at some point these experiences will be translated into words you didn't have before.
After a rejection, I always take some time for the pain to pass. It may take days or a week. Then I sit with a pen or in front of the computer.
My goal to write one descriptive sentence. It never ends there because I use it as a topic sentence and expand my thought.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Take care.
Anna from elements of emaginette
I've missed your posts, Michael, but I knew Melissa's passing had to be very difficult for you. Rejection any time is wrenching, but worse when you're already down and dealing with a loss like this. We've all been there if that's any help, and we're out here ready to listen and send our support your way.
I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
Rejections never get easier. And some are worse than others. This journey isn't easy! It sure is gorgeous weather in the Midwest today!
Hi Michael, Melissa was my dear friend too, we had connected on FB. I miss her a lot.
Feeling bad about the rejection you got from the agent, but remember it will take just one yes for you to get lucky and get your agent. Hang in there. Fingers crossed for you.
Sometimes I think that life is nothing but rejection. When I think I can't take it anymore, some kind of tiny acceptance usually comes along to keep me going. I also know that I can't completely give up. Failure is not an option, says the woman who wrote about trite expressions on her blog yesterday.
Love,
Janie
Good luck on the house hunt, I hope you find something soon.
I believe Melsy will find you an agent! I can hear her flapping her wings, or maybe wagging her devilish tail somewhere around us :)
Michael, you are a great writer, so hang in there. I'm waiting for the day you hang your hat on your Chicago noir. Loved what you wrote for WEP. Look through those stories. You might get inspired. This black moment, hopefully, will be followed by a Saving Act.
Love and miss you my friend. I'm cutting way back on blogging and only turning up for the IWSG and WEP from now on.
Remodel going at snail's pace...:-(
Denise :-)
Thanks Alex.
Thanks Julie.... it means a lot.
Thank you so much, Diane.
How kind. Thank you, Michelle.
Thank you, Crystal. We can never have enough love or cheese. Lol.
I know and agree with you. Thanks Karen.
I will. Thanks Holly.
I hope so Bish...Thanks.
Thank you so much, Anna.
I so appreciate that, Lee....thank you.
Thank you so much, Chyrs.
They certainly don't....and it was a stunning day!
So true, Rachna.... I just wish one would finally say YES....
Failure is not an option for me either, Janie.... I will get going again. Thanks.
Thanks Sara...
If anyone can.... she will. She must be zipping around the world at the moment. Not feeling her presence yet. But I know I will.... Thanks Dez!
Love you, too. Thanks Denise...I really appreciate your kind words.
Hi Michael - I know I commented ... it must be in spam - well I hope so ... my brain hasn't gone in that direction yet. I'll be back later on to comment properly ... cheers for now Hilary
Michael, no wonder you've been depressed. Losing a friend is really hard. Each time I hear people talking about Wonder Woman, I think of Melissa now. Then the writing is connected to her too. I've been at this a long time, and I've had a lot of almosts. Sometimes a rejection really takes the breath out of me. The only advice I can offer is to write something new. Maybe work on what you and Melissa were going to collaborate on--another way to keep her spirit alive. I keep writing because I can't not write. I tell myself it's the journey. Take care. xo
Michael, no wonder you've been depressed. Losing a friend is really hard. Each time I hear people talking about Wonder Woman, I think of Melissa now. Then the writing is connected to her too. I've been at this a long time, and I've had a lot of almosts. Sometimes a rejection really takes the breath out of me. The only advice I can offer is to write something new. Maybe work on what you and Melissa were going to collaborate on--another way to keep her spirit alive. I keep writing because I can't not write. I tell myself it's the journey. Take care. xo
have you been to the funeral? Did you hear anything from her family, how are they?
Sorry you had such a hard month last month. Grief can make everything look worse, and unfortunately you just have to go through the process. So disappointing about the rejection, but don't give up. Some published authors queried 100+ agents before getting an agent. You will too if you want it.
It isn't that I haven't thought of quitting. But I just can't not write.
I'm sorry about the rejection :(
Hi Michael - you have been going through the ups and downs of life ... I'm glad you've got clients - which at least takes your mind off things and you've got Hamlet giving you that extra zing.
I really felt for you re Melissa and I'm so sorry you didn't quite make it in time ... desperate to lose a loving friend. May she be at peace.
Your rejection after all those submissions and time - is just not what you needed right now ... but I guess a writer's life is what it is - and I'm sure you will be back writing at some stage.
We can't give up our dreams just because someone else doesn't like our work ... and I know you won't - you're way too talented to step away from being creative and writing - where your words flow.
Sometimes a break is needed - a quiet time ... where you can realise it's not the end of the world and you will rise again. Perhaps self-publish ... if that's an option ... or write some shorter pieces for publication another way ...
Take care and with thoughts for an easy time til life feels right again - enjoy Hamlet ... cheers Hilary
Give yourself permission to grieve. That's the advice a hospice counselor told me after I lost my mom, my MIL, and her sister (my 3 "Moms") within 18 months. I plodded through my life, did what I had to do, and didn't write. Her advice helped me so much. Eventually, I got back to writing but not for publication. I wrote to find the joy I used to have. I wrote for fun.
Your grief for your friend and for another rejection is real. What if you poured your feelings for the losses onto paper or screen? Don't think about publication. Vent all those emotions rolling around inside you. Hugs and deepest sympathy.
My deepest condolences. Life plays hard tricks sometimes that makes everything else seem trivial and unimportant. But we keep going, our loved ones at peace even if we aren't. I love what you think your friend would say to you. Take it to heart, remember and honour her.
Aw, Michael, my heart goes out to you with so many heartaches happening at once. I can see where writing during this time of sadness and adjustment would need to take a back seat. Sometimes that happens, and it's not necessarily quitting but rather an adjustment of priorities and attitudes necessary to cope with daily life. I hope things settle back down for you very soon. Sending love and hugs!
Hi, Michael!
I'm glad you too are finding a way to come back. Soon, you'll find your muse again! I've no doubt!
I'm so sorry to read that you're having such a tough time. I haven't lost anyone dear to me (thank goodness), but I've also gone through a few months of "is anything worth the effort anymore?" and as a result, I wrote a blog/vlog (you can pick which you prefer) post about what I'd learned. Maybe it would be of value to you? If only to see you're really not the only one.
Anyhow. I wish you all the best. You're an amazing person and you deserve all the success you can get.
It's always easy to tell someone else to suck it up, but a lot harder to do it yourself. I'm sorry for what you've gone through, but the writing bug will come back eventually. Until then, stay healthy in mind and body.
I knew you were upset about Melissa and was so sorry for your grief at her passing. Pity you didn't get to see her before she went. I also offer my sympathies about the rejections. Pretty depressing time you have been having but I am sure you will snap out of it. You seem to be a generally upbeat person. Looking for a new home? Thought you were moving to Florida permanently?
Big hugs, Michael! Melissa's passing was devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear friend.
Things WILL happen for you, my friend. They will. Take some time to breathe and grieve and live and just be. Take good care of yourself!
I love shopping for a new home. I like looking at all the ads, attending open houses, dreaming of how my stuff will look. I love every aspect of new home buying - except moving. Ugh. Before I purchased this house, I whittled my stuff down to bare basics for moving. Well, I still have my throw-away parties. I have a hard time holding on to things.
Except my writing. Can't seem to ever throw away anything. I hope you don't just throw away the project you and Melissa were working on. I was so sad to see your post of her passing. And sadder still for your loss. She was such a funny, creative personality. A great loss to the world. Hopefully you will find a way to keep your shared project alive once you have grieved.
Life is just so precious.
BG is such an awesome project. I am sure it will find an agent. It has had far too much attention to just languish in a drawer. Remember how many rejections JK Rowling had, and look what a franchise HP has become.
Chin up Dude. And don't worry about "quitting" for a while. Sometimes it is necessary to let go so your characters can re-invent their stories.
I miss you. Be well, and good luck in your writing and home hunting endeavors.
You started this writing thing because it was FUN, right? Keep it in the fun category and don't make yourself feel like it's an obligation - because it's not. If you're not feelin' it, don't feel guilty about stepping away for as long as you need to. When it's time for you to return, nothing will stop you.
Also, when that new idea grips you and has you typing furiously, do NOT let yourself get distracted or discouraged about what happens w/ the story once it's finished. That's all stuff you can worry about later. When the inspirations strikes, let yourself write for writing's sake, not because you feel like you HAVE to finish and then you HAVE to submit it to a gajillion and one agents. You don't HAVE to do any of that. Lose yourself in the writing process like you did with Amber and the Gardener. The rest can be dealt with - or not - after you've finished.
Honestly, I need to take that advice myself. I think part of what's sticking me in this writing rut is that I don't want to have another finished piece that I then feel obligated to market. I'm going to try to block all that out and rediscover what got me addicted to this writing thing in the first place.
Getting rejection letters does stink. I think it is great that you can hear Melissa's advice in your head. Sometimes it takes time to get back on the horse so to speak. Wishing you happy condo hunting and that you feel like writing soon. :)
~Jess
I'm sorry you feel so down, Michael. When life deals you one slap after another, it's hard to keep up hope. But something good will come your way, I'm sure. Soon. I believe it, and so should you.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
I'm sorry I'm so late getting to this post. I was so excited to learn you'd won that Twitter pitch and so sorry to hear about the disappointment. The same thing happened to another friend of mine and combined with some health issues, she thought about quitting also. You have way too much creative talent not to continue. And Melissa would definitely want you to go on.
Losing Melissa hit me too though I wasn't close to her like you. I lost someone else very close to me on that same day and it was hard to write anything for a while. I know you'll bounce back.
{{big hugs}}
There was one time I had a horrible dry spell that lasted for years. I thought the writing impulse was gone for good and it was as though a part of my self-expression was gone. I couldn't put pen to paper for fiction or poetry anymore.
But that's a good question, what brought it back?
I think it was a combination of contradictory stuff:
I didn't worry too much day-to-day about when it might return (though I felt the ache a lot)
I worked on other hobbies
I kept reading a lot
I joined the Compuserve Books and Writers Community -- there's nothing like being excited by the ongoing work of fellow authors
I stopped worrying about having it sound perfect in the first draft
But I also started actively trying to learn more of the craft
Once I'd started again, I did not stop -- it really is true that writing is a muscle that needs constant exercise
I find that prompts and writing exercises and things like bloghops and prompts help me a lot. I work better with a bit of a guideline or deadline. Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled was a great way to learn about forms of poetry and write a few of my own.
Writing a lot and often has made it easier to handle rejections -- I don't have time to dwell on them, as I'm already focused on other projects.
Hope we all get fewer rejections as time goes by!
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