Happy Friday everyone. I hope some exciting weekend plans are in store for you!
As you can see today is my FIRST entry into the Romantic Friday Writer's Group. My dear friends, Denise Covey and Donna Hole, are the fore runners for this challenge. What fun, right?
As most of you know, I am NOT a romantic writer by trade, although I do consider myself an romantic.
This is the first bit of writing I have done in a while, so I hope you are all patient with me. It's hard getting back in the saddle, if you know what I mean.
If you have time I hope you will have a chance to hop around to the other's posting today. You can visit them through Denise's or Donna's blogs. Denise explains beautifully how this challenge and the group came about.
So here is my Flash Fiction of about 375 words... max is 400... I hope you enjoy it.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Jason wrinkles his nose as noxious fumes swirl through his sinus, setting his nose hairs to attention.
Several beads of sweat journey from his forehead, down his neck, and settle into the moist cleavage of his chest.
"You missed a spot directly over your head." Shannon points the slim finger of her left hand in the general direction as a flash of blue fire stuns Jason.
He wobbles a bit on the eight foot ladder as drops of white paint splatter partially onto Shannon's blonde hair, adding unnecessary highlights.
"Will you please be careful ... geez you're clumsy." Scowling, Shannon wipes the paint from her head.
"Sorry honey." Jason steadies himself and grins, catching his fiancé's eye.
"Why are you grinning like that?"
A deep laugh escaped his sweaty throat. "You're cute when you get mad."
She rolls her eyes, glances at the glittering diamond, and then raises her head. "Why on earth did I agree to marry you?"
Jason smiles broadly, flexes his bulging bicep, and locks his eyes on Shannon's. "Because I am grade A prime beef ... that's why."
Shannon's eyes work their way up and down Jason's hard, ripped body, glistening with sweat.
She raises an eyebrow. Is that all there is to this? Surely there’s more ... isn’t there?
She stares back into Jason’s chiseled face. He’s still grinning with perfect, white teeth. A cold chill races up her spine. She shakes it off. “How much longer? You really need to finish painting today if we plan to move the furniture in by tomorrow.”
Jason flicks a bead of sweat off his brow. “Not to worry. I’ll finish.”
Shannon turns and heads toward the kitchen.
“Hey, Shan.”
Shannon looks back over her shoulder. “What is it?”
“Can you grab me a beer? I know it’s early but ...”
“It is early. It’s not even noon yet.”
Jason lowers his head and the spark in his eyes dull. “Ah, maybe an iced tea then? I’m really thirsty.”
What’s wrong with me? Isn’t he the man I love? She takes a deep breath. “Of course. I’ll be right back.”
Shannon steps into the kitchen, watching Jason through the pass through as he continues to paint. She shakes her head and sighs. “Can I go through with this?”
29 comments:
Somebody's having doubts!
Jitters before the wedding- nice.
Sometimes the fancier the wrapping paper, the less substance to the gift. Beauty is sometimes a mask that gilts a shallow, selfish soul.
Great job as always. Check out my entry, Michael. It is the last dance of Victor and Alice.
Shannon, I would vote for a delay in the wedding. Just saying ... :-)
I agree with Roland - perhaps she should think again. It got me fired up.
Uh-oh. Trouble ahead.
Happy Weekend, Michael, with no troubles for you :)
Oh no poor guy :)
Cold feet but hot writing! :)
Aw, but such a sad romance.
Toes are getting cold I see. Better put a ring on it ... QUICK! :)
Hi,
Over from RFW. Oh lordy, vanity doth not become the man...Pity she didn't give the ladder a worthwhile shake! There's good sense of atmosphere and inner soul searching from female perspective this piece. ;)
best
F
Ooh, Michael, very nice emotion packed in there. I hope Shannon figures it out before it's too late. And gee what a shocking surprise that there's some interior design involved in this scene, ha!
Sorry I've been M.I.A. But I think things'll return to a more steady pace now. I'm sure Chicago will still have plenty of liquor in its establishments come July - maybe we can even sit outside somewhere. :)
OOps - gut feeling. She'd better go with it, 9 times out of 10 it's correct! Great first effort, welcome to RFW. I've been MIA from the group but trying to get around and read entries this week.
ooh, I liked this! It starts out all hot and then turns ...creepy. Nice.
My guess the answer is NO. This romance went from "woo-hoo" to "oh crap" in 375 words.
Good job!
she should run. if he was the one, she'd know. :0) fun piece! and--what? no writing for a while? get back at it, mister! christy (long time no chat, sorry! glad you had a wonderful time in florida!)
Hi Michael. Great first job. You got all of us fired us, especially the women. Yet Roland has said what I want to say but in a much more literary tone. Run Baby Run is my advice. Isn't it great how you got so much emotion across in so few words? That's one of the challenges of RFW. I think of the prompts as excellent writing exercises which can only help our writing improve.
Hope you're not too hot and sweaty in Florida this weekend. Nice and cool here in Oz for a change.
Denise
Forgot to say Michael, come across to RFW on MOnday if you can to vote for People's Choice! YOu'll find a poll in the sidebar.
denise
You so wrote how women feel when faced with circumstances. I love that you can write from our POV. :)
I like how there was doubt weaved into this piece if you are looking for it. Shannon should be careful! Great piece
Ooh, I hope you post these every Friday!
Love the tension in this snip - I was waiting for a sweet romance scene, but this one's got some bite. I'd love to see what happens between these two.
Love that line about unnecessary highlights!
Michael that was excellent; way to climb back into the saddle.
I too liked the hot/steamy quality to the beginning, and then how subtlely you wove in the doubt and indecision. This is a complicated couple, with lots to work out. I enjoyed reading your flash :)
Have a good weekend Dear. Thanks for making time for RFW in your busy schedule :)
.......dhole
Dear Michael,
Nice to meet you!
Welcome to RFW!
You have written an intriguing text with an opening that makes the reader imagine all kinds of possibilities until you reveal that it is nothing more sinister than a man simply painting a room in his new home!
But then, the bantering between him and his bride-to-be reveals that she has doubts. (You even dare to write about her thoughts. Not bad. Not bad at all.) She is going to marry this very handsome man, but is still not quite sure!
Actually, I think many women think more about how easy or difficult a man is to get along with. Yes, women do think of how a man looks, but after that: 'Can I really talk with this guy?' Maybe this is what the 'something else' is in her thoughts?
Your story fits the theme of indecision perfectly. It is, in every way, an excellent piece of short fiction.
I hope you will have time to contribute often to RFW. But if not, you are always welcome when you do!
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's RFWers Challenge No 37 'Yes, No, oh, alright then.'
My friend,
I have to say the opening lines had me laughing. Don't worry, you had romance and humor. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing.
This definitely fits the theme of indecision. She seems to only appreciate his physical attributes but there must be something else about him that she likes that keeps her saying yes, no, yes, no. What about him hooked her in the first place?
Someone's having serious doubts. I love the detailing here. It felt as if I was watching the scene on a HD TV.
Welcome to RFW! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Well, if he's making her feel cold chills, that's probably not a good sign!
She told him to paint and he... did - I say he's a keeper, grab him!
Good piece, I thought it was going to be him who had doubts when she got all snarky. Hope she works out her fears, or at very least he gets his beer. :)
Oh dear, cold feet. I like that's it's the woman having doubts, and the details are great. Nice work.
Oh now, she's having some major doubts. Great details.
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