Hi, all,
Well, I was hoping to have this post up yesterday, but you know how life is ... unpredictable, unrelenting, and far from understanding.
I must say that last Friday/weekend I had a ball with the WHAT IF .... Twisted fairytale blogfest. If you need a good laugh, scroll down a few posts and take a look at my entry, BUT not until you finish reading this weekend's post. LOL.
Two of my most favorite bloggers buddies, Denise Covery and Donna Hole, host a bi monthly(every other Friday) writer's exercise and critique in ROMANCE.
So if you are up to a challenge and want to stretch your imagination to write something new in 400 words or less, that is if you are not a romantic writer like me, why not drop in on these wonderful ladies and join in the fun. Here is the direct link to Romantic Friday Writers .... Each event has a different prompt for you to follow...
Today's is a romantic picnic.
I was inspired by Chicago's lovely lakefront and a young romantic couple kissing on the grass dunes, as I powerwalked by them yesterday. I hope you like my entry, I decided to express my more poetic side today...
At three hundred and seven words here is
Well, I was hoping to have this post up yesterday, but you know how life is ... unpredictable, unrelenting, and far from understanding.
I must say that last Friday/weekend I had a ball with the WHAT IF .... Twisted fairytale blogfest. If you need a good laugh, scroll down a few posts and take a look at my entry, BUT not until you finish reading this weekend's post. LOL.
So if you are up to a challenge and want to stretch your imagination to write something new in 400 words or less, that is if you are not a romantic writer like me, why not drop in on these wonderful ladies and join in the fun. Here is the direct link to Romantic Friday Writers .... Each event has a different prompt for you to follow...
Today's is a romantic picnic.
I was inspired by Chicago's lovely lakefront and a young romantic couple kissing on the grass dunes, as I powerwalked by them yesterday. I hope you like my entry, I decided to express my more poetic side today...
At three hundred and seven words here is
A Special Kind of Love
As the curtain slowly closes on this lazy day of summer, a gentle, cool breeze skirts Chicago’s lakefront. The sun peaks high, sending its warmest rays to illuminate a vibrant mix of jade and sapphire in the tranquil waters.
Abuzz with activity, many city dwellers basque in outdoor activities. A whirlwind of neon flashes from cyclists, rollerbladers, and runners. Jingling silver bells break through the sound of subtle waves lapping, as peddlers sell the sweetest of confections.
Arched lacy bridges, covered in a kaleidoscope of flowers, welcome strolling couples and families to the lake’s sandy shores.
A sudden gust takes a young woman’s waist-length hair by surprise along with the edges of a red and white checkered tablecloth clinging to a patch of green earth.
Agile boy-like fingers quickly reset the paper plates and knocked over bottles as she twists the mane away from her dark eyes and glossed lips.
Angling her head, she stares into her lover’s captivating eyes, and like a stroke of a dove’s wings, their delicate fingers interlock. Her mouth parts as a breath escapes into the dancing blades of grass, gently caressing the insides of her legs.
An unexpected rush of air unravels her ebony strands, swathing the young sweethearts away from the world. Tender polished fingers weave through shiny cropped hair, and two pairs of soft, wet lips meld and become one as the zephyr calms.
After a brief slumber, the tempest awakens with the couple’s passion and sweeps across the lake, inviting a wave to crash against the concrete barrier, showering the lovebirds. Lips part and curl into smiles.
A whisper of “I love you,” slips from her quivering lips.
As she holds her breath, a flush of red, a raised brow, and loud gulp are the only response ... until a scratchy voice replies, “I love you, too.”
How sweet is this.? Ah, young love. Please feel free to let me know what you think and if you have any romantic plans for this weekend. And don't forget to visit the other Romantic Friday Writers ....
31 comments:
Wonderfully descriptive as always!
And does serenading my wife with a metal guitar riff sound romantic enough?
Very nice reminder of what young love fealt like...once upon a time. No romantic plans for this week-end, alas romance has left this building a long time ago.
You do so much more than paint a picture, Michael. You *immerse* the reader into your words... I plunged into this scene, and didn't take a breath until it finished. I love your writing.
And what a perfect theme for this weekend! It's my ten-year anniversary! Though hubby is off doing his triathlon stuff, we'll celebrate soon, LOL! And young love... seems like two days ago I was there... Fastest ten years of my life--though I've changed a TON from 21 to 31!
More excerpts please. So fun. :D
Well-rendered scene, Michael! You know how to put us there!
Best wishes,
Anna
RFW No.43 - 'Romantic Picnic'
Dave has to work and my kids are at their cousin's, so it's just me and my laptop/writing tonight. Not romantic, but it is something I love. ;)
erica
Very descriptive. Nice! Young love is so romantic, isn't it?
Hi
You old romantic, you... So love the flowery prose and vivid atmosphere.
A beautifully crafted piece. ;)
best
F
Hi,
Lovely prose like living in the moment. You portray young love well.
Hi Michael
You captured this couple well and used some amazing descriptive prose. It's been a pleasure watching your writing talent blossom.
Nancy
I wish I had romantic plans, alas, romance is not in my future. A whale Watch, however, is!
Hopefully I'll get some good pics :)
Michael, I savoured every word. This is Michael at his best. With your third person omniscient POV (blame Madeleine for her POV exercises this week!) the reader was able to be drawn right into the scene and what was happening all around the lovers, building the atmosphere. The naughty wave at the end was an inspired touch. My heart is skipping with joy that you took on this challenge and sat down and wrote something of this calibre for us. I am honoured, my friend.
Well I feel for the commenters who said romance had left the room. I feel privileged for my romantic husband who has spent such a sweet weekend with me basking in Queensland's perfect beach weather. I found it hard to drag myself inside to the computer. But the stories I've been reading have made it worthwhile.
Don't forget to come back to RFW if you'd like to vote for your favourite entry this week. Go with your gut. Really should be someone who kept to the word limit and has a romantic element! Poll will go up Monday AEST.
Thanks for entering! We made our 20 goal! And that person was YOU until Donna had to resubmit...
Denise
Hi Michael,
I've returned for a second read.
Your story is written as if a little bird fluttered around and wrote about the overall scene of the lake front, and then watched at close range this young couple. Good technique.
You have put your characters in an unusual setting. There are so many stories set in New York/on Manhattan; why not Chicago? Especially since you know a lot about that area.
I actually visited Chicago once, when it was bitterly cold in February. It's comforting to know that it can be nice in the summer.
Thanks for visiting and commenting on my post. Hope you will be able to write more for RFW. Judging by the other comments your input is appreciated by many.
Best wishes,
Anna
For the benefit of other readers:
RFW No.43 - 'Romantic Picnic'
Hi Michael, a lovely, well written, romantic, passionate piece, full of feeling making me wish those things could happen in the real world. Maybe one day... Great piece.
Beautifully written - that took me on a very tender journey.
Oh Michael; an observers rendition is priceless. We,the readers, get to live through the narrators interpretation. Almost more passionate than what the lovers would report. I think writers are blessed with the gift of observation. We get to indulge in the fantasies that participants wished for.
This was a sensuous delight, the narrator's voice/perceptions so poignant I felt I was sitting on the beach, watching the couple, and dreaming of my own expectations. I liked how you captured the couples' romance through the narrator, and the narrator made the audience an intimate participant in the romance.
The setting felt spontaneous, yet there was enough narrative detail to show someone planned it well (I got the sense the guy did, but as the narrator didn't know, the reader couldn't be sure)
What I liked about this is that it is an observation; the narrator reports some intimate seeming details from observation, but the true story is left to the imagination. It is a true vignette; an evocative setting with engaging characters and much speculation.
Excellent narrative Michael. I'm glad you chose to share this moment with RFW. I know I need this affirmation that true love exists. You lifted my spirits with this posting.
.......dhole
Aww, love that scratchy voice at the end!
Very vivid, very detailed, very colourful and yet concise, beautifully delicate.
Michael, you've sure got a way with words. You must be a writer or something! Nicely done.
Michael,
You've used a POV/voice I didn't even consider to serve up a descriptive picnic feast!
Completely and utterly sweet, I loved it! You painted a picture with the words, truly captivating.
You catch a moment of time and impress it upon our hearts, leaving us with echoes and intimations of what lies beneath and in store for those two. Great job, Roland
Hi Michael: nice to read you. It´s a wonderful story, full of exquisite words . I feel you take a brush and paint words of colours and perfum. Excuse me for my English .Kiss Elen
Dear Michael,
Great story with a beautiful ending. I enjoyed your work today.
Your descriptions are so sensory and beautiful. I absolutely love them...and this post.
Very romantic, a simple picture, but beautifully described.
Michael! I love this! It's gorgeous--from the waist length hair to the dove's wings to the blades of grass... *swoon* :o)
beautiful!
My weekend was not so romantic. Hubs had to be out of town, so I played single parent. I'm dead. :D ((hugs))
Very sweet vignette. Young love...there is nothing so beautiful, yet so very fleeting. I love to read about it, though. :) And I could most definitely picture the lakefront, right around 57th street as I am a South Sider.
Beautiful prose, Michael! You captured the freshness and innocence of young love so well I could almost see it all in my mind.
Thanks for reading and commenting on my story too.
Lots going on at the lakefront and then you zoom in on the couple. You write like a poet.
Young love has always been something that intrigues me the most.. there's something very special about young love.. it's like their hearts are on fire.. and you captured that beauty so well here.. It's absolutely amazing.. and the imagery is beyond anything I've ever seen before.. and yet, I felt like I was right there.. I can not say it enough, this was beautiful!
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