Monday, September 19, 2011


Well, today is quite the banner day. So much is happening in the blogosphere I can't keep up! Even my blog is packed with TWO exciting events today.

First, my good friend and fellow Chicagoan, Nicki Elston has dropped by today to continue her fabulous relaunching of her book THREE DAYS. With a brand spanking new cover, we can now all visualize what the 80's were like.

Welcome Nicki ... Take it away!

Thanks, Michael.

If you’ve read any of Michael’s excerpts from his Young Adult manuscript, The Blinded Gardener, then you know his main character Aidan has some excellent one-liners. Totally T-shirt worthy! 

And so, as part of my Blog Blitz to celebrate the brand new cover for my 1980s Chick Lit/Romance Three Daves, I’d like to share with you some one-liners from the book that I think would look good on a T-shirt…or a coffee mug…or what have you.  Here goes:    

C’mon good girl, be bad.

I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.

I asked my interior designer to give me something appropriate for defiling virgins.

I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.

Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered.

You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.
-Big D

Me? I go wherever the wind blows…and wherever the whiskey shots are half price.

I suggest you icksnay on the artalecsmay.

Bee tee double-yew, these are all listed at Goodreads, so if you like one here you can “like” it there too. ;)  Aaaand, Three Daves is only 99 cents in KindleNook,eBook and ePack through September 30 as part of Omnific Publishing’s Back-to-School Sale!   If you’re a book reviewer, A Tale of Many Reviews has opened up sign-ups for a Three Daves book tour.

So how about you—got any one-liners from your work
that cracked you up as you wrote them? 

Thanks for stopping by!  And thanks for having me, Michael.

It was my pleasure Nicki. Anytime.

Now for the second part of my post ... The illustrious Alex J. Cavanaugh is hosting another fun blogfest. The TEN WORST MOVIES you've ever had the misfortune to watch.

Here are my top ten in no specific order .... They ALL were a waste of time and money.

Mommie Dearest .... 1981... Could Faye Dunaway have been MORE aweful?

Showgirls .... 1995... What was Elizabeth Berkley thinking? She should have stayed in school ( Saved by the bell).
Glitter .... 2001... Mariah Carey, PLEASE stick to singing!
Meet the Spartans ... 2008 ... HOW could YOU demean such a pivotal point in ancient history? Let’s stick with 300, shall we?
Eragon ... 2006 .... When did Jeremy Irons lose his talent? What a letdown. LOVED the book hated the movie.
Speed 2 ... 1997 ... Some movies should be left with only one. After the original, NEVER make another. Rule of thumb. 2 of any movie is usually a disaster.
Jaws ... 1975 ... From the first to the last ... WHY? Could that shark be any more plastic? People actually fell for it? (shakes head)
Norbit ... 2007 ... Eddie Murphy at his worst ... Could this movie be more crude and insulting to the view’s intelligence.
Dumb and Dumber ... 1994 ...  The title says it all!
The Cable Guy ... 1996 ...  Just when I thought Jim Carrey sunk to his lowest, this movie came out. THE WORST EVER!
Well everyone that is my top ten worst movie line up in no particular order. I could go on for days with bad films. There seem to be more bad than good ones produced these past few decades.

Thanks everyone for stopping by. Don't forget to drop by Nicki's blog and say Hi. And, if you want to see more bad movies drop by Alex's for the list of other entries.

Have a great Monday and let me know if you've seen a horrid movie lately.

AND finally if you haven't heard about my What I did last summer blogfest, it's time you have. Enter now! Find out the details by clicking the badge to the left.



  1. I've been lucky to avoid most of those films. Bruce the shark has always been a joke and it was a miracle he worked at all. Still love that movie though.

  2. Great bad movie list here bro! I was smart enough to stay away from most of them..but Jaws? Really? That shark scared me, but then again I saw it before they got the whole special effects thing perfected. Checking out Nickis blog now :)

  3. Eragon. I wanted so badly for it to be good :-(

  4. Most of those screamed bad movie from the beginning. But Jaws? Dug that movie!
    Thanks for participating in the blogfest. I'm hosting Nicki on Wednesday.

  5. Hehe, this is an interesting mix of bad movies. But Jaws? That's one of my top 10 favorite movies! Anthony Quinn does wonders to make up for the plastic shark. ;)

    Thanks for working double duty today and giving me a guest spot. :) I couldn't join this blogfest because I tend to block bad movies from my memory, but a recent flick I'm having trouble shaking is Larry Crown. That thing was a mess.

  6. Ha! My dad forced us to watch Jaws 17 times! And I was only three and I still could sing that song they sang on the ship. Trauma. I tell ya. LOL.

  7. Urgh, Michael, I still want to enter your blogfest but am still totally immersed in revisions--can barely post these days! (The good news is I've done 70 pages of my 300. The bad news is that took me all week. This level of revision is intense.) Love your movie selections, btw. You thought the shark was plastic in JAWS? You're showing your youth! Back then it was really scary.

  8. I have to disagree with Jaws (I assume you mean the original with Richard Dreyfus) but the rest I suspect you are right on. Thankfully I haven't had the displeasure of watching them!

  9. Well it seems that many of you don't agree with my choice of Jaws... Just to clarify, it wasn't the acting or storyline it was the fake fish that got to me. lol.

  10. I totally forgot about Mommie Dearest. Great list.

  11. Nicki, I've heard fabulous things about your book. First read about it over on Jen D's blog. Best of luck!

  12. Jaws, Michael. I love sharks. It made me furious that these people made sharks out to be the bad guys. And the fake fish were a bit, uh, fake. :-) Great list!!!!!

    Love the one-liners.

  13. Sounds like a great book. And those sound like horrible movies. The good and the bad on your blog today. Cool.

  14. There is so much going on, isn't there? Busy month!

    Yay for Three Daves! 99p is an excellent price, and those one liners are hilarious.

  15. LOL at the one-liners. Especially the last one!

    I kinda liked Eragon--I thought they needed to change Arya and should have stuck with the original plot, but not the most horrible movie. :P

    Haven't seen any of the others.

  16. Congrats to Nicki on her re-release and that great cover! Those one-liners are great.

    And bad movies are so fun, you have to love to hate them. ;)

  17. LOL! Those one-liners are FANTASTIC! I could totally hear them being uttered in any brat pack film from the 80s. Great work, Nicki! And thanks for the heads up, BB! ;p

    And yep, those are possibly the worst films ever. Never saw Glitter, but I can only imagine... *shivers* <3

  18. I knew there was a reason I didn't see Speed 2!

  19. The only one of your list I've seen was Jaws - and as a young teen, I was scared. I am SUCH a wimp!! :)

    3 Daves sounds great - those are terrific one liners! Off to the Kindle store...

  20. Aw shucks Michael, where's your sense of humour? Everyone loves Jaws! It kept people from being eaten by sharks in Oz for years. Now that GenY haven't seen this movie, sadly we are having a growing number of shark attacks. See, even the worst movies have a raison d'etre!


  21. Love the new cover!

    I agree that "Mommie Dearest" was a bit of a letdown. Though Faye did a great job. :)

  22. A lot of fun stuff here today, Michael!

    Nicki, the one liner I will remember from today is our discussion with Omnific Publishing staff when Jen DeLucy said "Yay Big O!" *snickers*

    And two of the top ten worst movies I've ever seen are "Mosquito Coast" and "Fanny and Alexander". My mom and I walked out of Fanny and Alexander when they started blowing out lit matches with their farts!

  23. There are so many bad films out there... you could go on and on, couldn't you? (unless you managed to avoid seeing most of them) I think Michael Offut might have won the day with his. I mean that has to be THE WORST film ever conceived.

  24. I'm guessing that you don't like 'stupid' humor. I thought Cable Guy and Dumb and Dumber are genius in their stupidity. Highly quotable. Norbit I think was still funny but too crass.
    Jaws is great for what it is.
    Eragon was a bit of a disappointment but not worst movie ever.
    But I think we can disagree and still be friends :)

  25. I have to agree with Alex, I thought those movies were terrible.

    On a happy note, I think Nicki Elson's work is very interesting, based on the one-liners shown. Not one, not two but three Daves.

  26. I read Nicki's book THREE DAVES in a weekend and loved it. It was the perfect summer read and I loved the references to southern Illinois, and Illinois, in general. Being from Chicago, I'm a little biased that way. :-)

    I also love the new book cover!

  27. Three Daves sounds wicked cool as I am an 80's kid.

    Loved your movie list. These are some truly heinous works that I can't believe ever got made into films.

  28. I actually believed Jaws was real. Of course, I was a kid when I saw that shark eating people, and so ever since I've been reluctant to even dip my toe in the ocean.

  29. Oh, thanks for the heads-up on Nicki's book!

    And I agree on your movie list. Especially the Jim Carrey titles, that man does not float my boat at all. ;-P

    Happy writing this week! x

  30. I couldn't stand Cable Guy. You have some great picks on this list.

  31. Nicki - love the shower one-liner!! Too funny!! :)

    Hi Michael - you know I almost put Dumb and Dumber on my list, too. But, it's my husband's favorite.... (I know, I know - I'm shaking my head, too.) A few I haven't seen - but, I agree with you on all but the 1st Jaws. YES - the shark is totally fake! But - take the fake shark out and the acting is pretty awesome, imho. :)

  32. I love the one-liner idea. I'll have to check out Nicki's book :)

    And as far as the movies go, I agree with you on most of them (or at least the ones I've seen), but I liked Eragon. Loved it? No. But I saw it before I read the book. And the book is BY FAR better. Hands down. But I didn't know anything about it going into the movie and I thought it was good. Not the best, but not the worst :)

    Most of my least favorite movies have to do with Disney crazies. Like Alice in Wonderland, Dumbo, and then there's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I could go on...

    Have you seen Strange Brew?

  33. Love the conversation with Nicki! I am off to buy her book now!
    The only movie I've seen on your list was Mommie Dearest, which actually terrified me (even though I have a very nice mother).

  34. Hooray! So much fun getting to be featured here during a blogfest. And I'm happy to see so many of you agree w/ me on Jaws ;) (sorry, Michael). Thank you everyone for putting up w/ my one liners and THANK YOU Michael for having me over!

  35. "...well, a lot's happened since I last showered."

    That sooo sounds like Nicki at her best!

    In honor of the eighties..."that was totally awesome, dudes ;)


  36. Always my pleasure, Nicki .... Such a fun turnout!

  37. I didn't even read Eragon and I was disappointed with the movie. What a waste of precious minutes.

    P.S. Nicki's book looks like a lot of fun. I love the eighties!

  38. Hahaha! Without a doubt, my favourite one-liner from Nicki's list is "Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered." :-) Coming in second: "Me? I go wherever the wind blows…and wherever the whiskey shots are half price."
    Darn, but I find those good one-liners hard to come up with...

  39. I'll have to admit to liking some of your picks. My criteria for picking the films on my list had more to do with films that kind of pissed me off.

    Tossing It Out

  40. Those one liners are totally awesome and I love David already.