THE IDES OF MARCH! HART JOHNSON'S DELUSIONAL DOME BLOGFEST!

Well if you haven't already known, today is Hart Johnson's Delusional Dome blogfest in honor of the Ides of March. We must write about our death/murder, someone else's death/murder or an obituary. That sort of thing. Is it twisted? YES. But Hart is awesome, so hop over to her blog for the other entires here.

Here is my entry ... I hope it amuses you.

In the channel ten newsroom, a tousle-haired young woman meanders through an assembly line of cameramen and their equipment to reach a dark-haired man in the corner, sipping on a cup of coffee.

“Excuse me, Mr. Coletti. I was asked to give you this, sir.”

“Thank you, Miss—”

“Reynolds.”

The assistant’s pale face looses her remaining color. With trembling fingers, she places the message in the palm of his mitt-like hand.

He smiles, then stares down at the slip of paper as his square jaw drops. He raises his thick-browed eyes.

“I-Is this true?

The assistant nodded. A single tear splashed onto the floor.

Thank you, Ms. Reynolds. I’ll get right on it.

Mike Coletti rushes through the studio headed for the elevators. He presses the top button and is catapulted to the roof. A chopper is waiting at the top of the Chicago Times building. His perfect black hair is blown in all directions as he races to the chopper and hops inside. Seatbelt fastened they take off. 

An hour later, Mike stands in front of a modest home. His brows raise into his hairline and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“You’re on in five, four, three, two, one.”

“LIVE in Ann Arbor, Michigan. This is Mike Coletti at the home of Hart Johnson. Hundreds of Naked mourners are frozen, waiting for a glimpse of their mentor.

“Today across America, the UK, and Australia people are ripping off their cloths in honor of our dearly departed Hart Johnson, aka, the Watery Tart. 

“Hart Johnson single handedly brought nudity to a whole new art form. Writing her critically acclaimed novels in the bathtub, she started a world-wide sale on waterproof laptops. Thousands of authors are now writing in the nude, hoping for our sweet Hart’s success. 

“But right now on the lips of every NWDT minion including myself is ... Why didn’t she have one?! This NEVER should have happened!

“What was she thinking bringing her PC laptop in the tub? Did she believe she had a Naked-top? Was she loosing her mind? 

“We will never know. I still don’t understand why with the billions of dollars Naked-top computers made on Hart’s genius, they never sent her one of their waterproof creations.

“I, as well as, millions of people will hold Naked-top responsible! No longer will we enjoy the immortal words coming from The WATERY TART, naked from her bathtub.

JOIN me and thousands of others in the boycott of this product. RUSH NAKED to your local franchise and chant “Murderer! Murderer! Murderer!

FOR OUR TART ... RIP OFF YOU CLOTHES NOW!  Mike flings his jacket, loosens his tie, and  tears of his shirt, revealing a muscular goose-bumped torso. He reaches for his belt ...